Adam Torres and Sharissa Sebastian Deppen discuss leadership.
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Show Notes:
How can introverted leaders leverage their unique strengths in a corporate world that celebrates extroversion? In this episode, Adam Torres interviews Sharissa Sebastian Deppen, Founder of Leadership Mastery Alliance, explore Leadership Mastery Alliance and how introverted leaders can excel in business.
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About Sharissa Sebastian Deppen
They help compassionate corporate leaders embrace the confident, unstoppable leader within and have maximum impact while having plenty of time and energy to enjoy their personal lives. They do this by providing clarity, confidence, proven yet simple strategies, a support network and accountability.
For over 15 years we’ve supported many leaders at companies such as Google, LinkedIn, Facebook, Microsoft, Amazon, Harpo Studios, Sales Force, Intuit, Bank of America, The United Nations, CNN, Victoria’s Secret, US Bank, Ameriprise Financial, Virgin, and Nestle, etc. she had the honor of speaking at TEDx events, writing for Forbes and HuffPost, as well as being a member of Forbes Coaches Council. She use her experience to help leaders navigate blind spots to take their career and personal life to the next level.
Full Unedited Transcript
Hey, I’d like to welcome you to another episode of mission matters. My name is Adam Torres. And if you’d like to apply to be a guest in the show, just head on over to mission matters. com and click on, be our guest to apply. All right. So today’s guest is Sharissa Sebastian Deppin and she’s founder of leadership mastery Alliance.
Sharissa, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me, Adam. I’m excited to get started. Alright, so I mean, what a great topic today. So, helping introverted servant leaders have influence, impact, and the elusive for some work life balance. So, excited to get into this. And just to get us kicked off, we’ll start this episode.
With our Mission Matters Minute. So Charissa at Mission Matters, our aim and our goal is to amplify stories for entrepreneurs, executives, and experts. That’s our mission. Charissa, what mission matters to you? I think you did already a phenomenal job of touching on the key elements of my mission, and that is helping introverted servant leaders really thrive in the world, not just in the workplace, but having the ability to do work that matters, but also connecting that with that work life balance and being able to just.
Yeah, enjoy life and get the most out of it while making a difference in doing the work that really counts. So, Sharissa, where, like, when did this concept of being introverted and, like, making a difference, and especially because, you know, some works, places can be skewed towards and more extroverted, the more you speak up, the more you’re out there, maybe the more rewards you get.
When did that concept kind of come to you? Like, how did that come to you? Well, it came actually from my own journey, which was at times very painful as an introvert because this was many, many years ago at a time where we didn’t talk about being introverted in the workplace or being extroverted or having different ways of approaching work and so when I was in that space, especially as a leader, so I, my background is in software engineering and so I started off as a developer.
And they moved into leadership, so technology leadership primarily. And so in that journey I really had to quickly learn how to function in that space. And unfortunately for, you know, for me at that time, the way I kind of view the world was like you said extraversion was celebrated, right? I was always told, okay, you need to be more visible.
You need to speak up more and do all these things, which nothing wrong with that. And then it was always good. I think you kind of took some of the advice, whether you needed to or not, you’re on a show right now. And from what I could tell, like you’re all over the place. So you took some of the advice again, not so much.
Say one way versus the other is right or wrong, but go ahead. Please just add that up though. No, but I love that you bring that up because that is a really good point that I’m for sure going to address that. And actually, I’m going to tell you the reason why I believe I found the sense of and it’s so relevant to what you talk about all the time, right?
That mission matters because when you’re on mission, when you’re on purpose, when you feel like you’re doing work that matters. Nothing can stop you because the focus is not on you anymore. It’s on how do I serve? And even if I’m just serving one person on the other side of the screen in an audience, whatever it is, you’re going to be able to push past that fear or insecurity or whatever it is to be able to then say, okay, you know what?
I am going to function in what I call that leadership zone of genius, which is basically just function at your highest capacity based on both strengths. How you, you know, made up so that you can then bring your unique value into the world. So that’s a big part of it, is knowing that, right? And, and being aligned with that, whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, that, that matters.
So knowing yourself well enough to know, okay, this is who I am. This is how I can show up in the world in a way that makes sense for me and the way I’m wired, rather than trying to compare yourself. And what I call the comparison trap, which can really just take away our confidence and things like that.
I mean, we’re constantly comparing to others. And trying to be maybe somebody that we’re not or we’re not not naturally inclined to be. So, yeah, I love that you brought that up. Thank you. Yeah, and so looking at yourself and I’ll say, you know, you’ve been, you’ve been doing this for a while now and you’ve coached a lot of different people.
What, where do you find that people are getting, like, when does someone, Somebody come to the thought process of, you know what, I, I need to work on this. Or like, and not saying them as a person, but like if they want to match maybe some of their goals. ’cause it’s, it’s sometimes easier to ch make some changes in yourself than it is to try to change a Fortune 500 company if that’s their culture.
Right. Like that. And it’s been around a hundred years, like there’s different battles to fight and I’m not, I’m not discouraging anybody against going after that battle. I’m just. Speaking for myself here, but it’s kind of hard to do. So when does somebody come to that moment or that point where they’re like, you know what, maybe I should work on this a little bit.
Yeah. And that’s such a great question because it really is a personal decision and journey. So even if you come, so I have a lot of companies that I work with who will sponsor, you know, the employees to go through a coaching program or something like that. But if that person does not make the personal choice to engage in that coaching program, it’s not really going to help that much, right?
So we have to come to that pace where we, first of all know that there’s either a need or there’s something we’re aspiring to, and then recognizing that there’s support available and not being afraid to say, you know what, I’m going to take the help that I’m being given or I’m going to seek the help to be able to whatever it is, right?
That you want to achieve, whether that’s some areas you want to work on, whether it’s a specific goal you have in mind. So I think it’s a personal decision and the other part of that is you have to focus on what you can control versus what you can’t, right? You just made a point that yes, we could try to boil the ocean and we have, you know, some parts to play in that, but at the same time, trying to work or focus so much on what we can’t control is not really going to help much.
But if we are like, look at ourselves and go, okay, what can I do? Or how can I function in the best possible way? Well, how can I achieve some of the things that are important to me? It’s going to have a ripple effect on somebody, right? If we align with that. So, just being able to say, this is who I am, this is what’s important.
Now how can I take those steps forward and seeking out the help that you need and support that you need. Because we’re not about to be an island, right? We’re all meant to Be yeah, in community with one another. So yeah, to me, when I think about being introverted or extroverted, what ultimately comes down is like how you communicate.
And I feel like since so many more channels are available to communicate nowadays, that it just gives people the more opportunity to express themselves and to connect. Like maybe you don’t want to be the person standing up in front of a crowd, but maybe you’re the one, you know, writing content. Or maybe you’re the one recording content from the comfort of your home.
Or maybe like, there’s just, you’re creating social media. And even I had this conversation the other day about someone and when they’re like, well, I don’t want to be in front of the camera. I don’t want to do this and I don’t want to do all of that, but they do need to build their personal brand, which is what we work on a lot.
Here at mission matters. And what we came up with is I’m like, have you ever seen any like PLV videos or like, like videos of people that are like out at conferences or doing other things or in their industry, and they never seen it before. And I shared it with them. And I’m like, you don’t even have to use your voice.
If you didn’t want to, you could still add value. You can still communicate. So to me, I think that line between. Benefits of being introverted or extroverted. And like, I think it’s kind of getting a little grayer, but I also think that like, there’s just different ways to add value and communicate now, whereas you go back 20 years ago and it all had to be the stereotype model.
If you want to get ahead in corporate America, interested in your opinion on that, like just that concept in general. Absolutely. And I think that really goes to the core of how we approach. Helping and serving introverted leaders, because there’s so many different ways of going about it. The, like, traditional way, or the thing, the ways that were traditionally promoted, I guess, in the workplace, don’t necessarily need to be the only way to get to whatever that end result is.
But it does need to start with, we do need to start with the end in mind, right? We need to know what are we trying to achieve? What is that end result? End goal, like Steve Huckabee says, like, basically just starting with that in your mind, because there’s so many parts and ways to get to whatever that end result is.
So I really appreciate that you brought that up, because there’s other ways to communicate. There’s other ways to have impact, to have influence, and to do all the things. That it doesn’t necessarily have to be, you know, contradictory to the way we’re wired and our preferences and different things like that.
How can introverted leaders that you’ve seen like leverage their strengths in the workplace? Like how have you seen it done? Yeah. So there’s a couple of different things I’ll, I’ll talk about here that is really part of our coaching process. So when an introverted leader comes to us and says, I want to work on, you know, whatever that is, XYZ, I will tell you a lot of the common areas that like the very best session.
I hear a lot of. My introverted leaders, they, I would love help with executive presence. I would love help with my, you know, professional brand, things like that, with visibility all of those different things, right? So those are some of the common areas. So when they first come in one of the things I like to start with is the why.
So what is kind of going back to what I was talking about before about that end goal? Why are you trying to achieve that? Why is that so important? What is the end goal? Like, what is it going to feel like? What is it going to look like when you’re, when you’ve achieved that? That end goal and why is it so important that no matter what obstacles or challenges come in the way, you’re going to be able to push through it and get to whatever it is that you, that is that important to you.
So it actually goes back to mission as well, right? So being really aligned with what that is important, what that matters to you, because it’s so much easier to work towards something. We, you have a sense of purpose and you feel a sense of ownership in whatever area it is that you’re in. So I would say that’s the one thing.
And the other thing is knowing yourself really, really well. So what I mean by this is that concept of leadership, sort of genius. So when I talk about leadership sort of genius within my coaching practice, what I mean is being really clear on what makes you unique, what makes you, you, so your strengths, your passions, your interests, the way in which you communicate the best.
So there’s so many different things that make that up, but basically just understanding who you are. It can also be your belief system, your values. There’s lots of different elements to this. Because once we can really put a spotlight on the things that make us unique and show up in a world from that place, we have so much more confidence, right?
We’re like, wow, I can really just own who I am, own my space and own my mission and then go, go from that place because whether you’re an introvert or extrovert, when you do come from that place, You just have the ability to, to connect with the right people and to communicate in a way, in a way that’s more effective.
So that’s what I would say. Those, you know, there’s so many other things that go into that, but top of mind, like those are the two things that I would say really makes a difference when it comes to, you know, having that impact. Yeah. And, and I think when as people kind of go through and find their, their space.
base, like, especially let’s talk about somebody who’s already in the leadership role, right? So let’s say you’re already, you’ve already been rising in the ranks and now as you’re more and more visible you’re fine. You’re now maybe not managing a team of like 10 now, maybe you’re over a department or maybe you’re over a region and your responsibilities and more of the spotlight that you might not be comfortable with might be shining on you because of the quality of your work.
Like how do you help those leaders? I’m always curious about that. Oh, that is also really good because it is a mindset shift as well. Yeah, it is. Not easy. For sure. No, definitely not easy because when you’re used to functioning at a certain level and maybe you have some level of mastery, right? Just because you’ve been doing it for an extended period of time.
We’ve invested time and effort through learning and training and all those things. And now you have to elevate right to that next level. So people might actually not even recognize you’re a pretty introverted because you’re so good with your team and everybody loves you and they know you in your department.
So you’ve created your own little bubble or, you know, there. So they may not even know. Right. Exactly. And actually that speaks to the power of introverts, right? There’s a quiet stream that introverts bring to the table where they can still have that level of impact and influence, but they don’t need to be always the loudest person in the room or, you know, but just to answer your question about like how to really elevate, first of all, you have to be aware of what the expectations, so what is expector, both from yourself personally, like what, who do you want to be in that next level of leadership?
What kind of leadership identity do you want to, to own and how do you want to be remembered? So we talk about that in terms of leadership legacy as well. So that as you navigate leadership and as you go to the next step of being really clear on what makes you that valuable leader. And then how do you want to show up at that next step?
It could either be based on other leaders, maybe that you admire. It can be based on your own leadership zone of genius. And knowing that no matter what happens, because there’s going to be challenges, right, leadership always comes with some level of challenge and uncertainty and all these different things, but when you can function from that place of, okay, I’m grounded in who I am, the type of leader that I want to become, and you align your your values with your leadership sort of genius, and then also your decisions and how you show up in the world and how you want to communicate.
It just makes it so much easier to function at that next level. But then there’s this other component of strategy, right? So when it comes to the day to day work, That’s shifts and changes as you move up into different levels of leadership. So if you, if you, like you said, in your example, you’re not running a department or that organization structure is going to look a little bit different, right?
So you’re going to have leaders that are now senior leaders or leaders who are leading others. And so you do need to shift your focus to, okay, now how do I support this level of leadership, right? Versus maybe you’re supporting individual contributors before that in the past and it’s like that. So you do have to.
Be very clear on what you bring to the table as a leader, but also pay careful attention. Introverts that actually tend to be really good at this, at having empathy, active listening, all of those things. So understanding the people who report to you, understanding their own strengths, what they bring to the table, and also understanding where they need your support the most is gonna be really, really important.
Because sometimes as leaders, as we elevate ourselves, it’s very easy to get too much into the weeds and have that tendency to like go back to our comfort zone. Yeah. But when we really focus on. What is the expectation of me at this level for myself and from others? And then how can I best support the leaders that, that are like one level below me in my team so that they are then equipped to support the rest of the team.
I think it makes all the difference. So there needs to be alignment across the board, but it needs to start with our, then our leaders being really grounded and clear on who they are, what they bring to the table so that they can lead from that place. Yeah, it’s interesting that you said some of those core competency or core strengths like empathy or being a good listener.
I tell people all the time, they’re like, when they think about like, you know, what makes a good show host for a podcast? And I’m like, well, how do I spend most of my day listening? I ask questions. I’m actively engaged. I think I make the guests comfortable, but I spend a lot of my day listening. And I always think, and I’m like, I personally think introverts make some of the best podcast hosts because of that.
Cause they’re actually listening to their hosts. They are, they’re their guests. They’re connecting and they’re not just waiting for their term to. Third time to talk or, you know, continually cutting the person off so that it just becomes a, like a, a maze of what are they doing? And before you know it, you don’t really remember what they’re even talking about, or they might not even remember depending on the show and not knocking anybody.
No, by the way, not everybody has their own creative process. But to me, like when I think about media or social media, any of that stuff. Like that’s how I found my niche in media being because I’m an introvert for sure, but I’m a trained extrovert. Like when I get on stage, it’s a different person that comes out.
Right. Then there’s lots of trained extroverts out there that are much higher levels and different in, in different levels of entertainment, by the way, that they put on it, they have, they create their own character. And when they’re out doing their work, that’s what they’re doing. So to me, I think, I think some of those skills and those skill sets become super interesting when you think about what that brings to the business and to the workplace on the day to day.
As you’re working with, I’m curious about like the level who typically is a good fit for working with you and your team. So are you working with a C suite? Are you working with management? Are you working like in, in group settings or individual? Like, give us a little bit of meat on the bones of like what you’re doing day to day.
Happy to do that. So most of the people that we work with within the company is mid tier leadership all the way up to C suite. So, but most of our clients fall in the category of leadership, well, management to senior, senior management. So all the way up to VPs, and then we do coach at the, at the C suite level as well.
So the majority of them are either, are seasoned managers, so not a whole lot of, you know, brand new managers, but at the same time they fit in that middle, Kind of a middle tier off senior management all the way up to executives, leadership and management. Hmm. How do you feel, find the people get the most benefit out of working with you?
Like, are there people that are more of a good fit than others versus not just by title, but in general, like how have you found the people that get the biggest breakthroughs? Oh, I love this question. This is so good, Adam. I love that you’re asking this. So there are a couple of things to kind of keep in mind to even evaluate with if you never had coaching before, or if you’re trying to figure out, is this a good time for me to engage in a coaching process and that’s not even just working with us.
This is just in general, there’s a couple of tips that I, you know, that I would love to share as far as whether to know if you are coachable. So the one thing is, and also you don’t even have to have clarity on exactly specifically what it is that you’re trying to achieve. Your coach can help you to figure that out.
But you do need to be coachable in the sense that you need to be open to the coaching process. It’s not always going to be easy, meaning that, it doesn’t mean that it can’t be fun and enjoyable, but when I say it’s not always easy, meaning there might be topics that we discuss, or there might be like deeper coaching work that happens to uncover some of the things that could be holding you back, for example, right?
So coaching is going to put a spotlight on different perspectives, different ways of engaging, different ways of thinking about different situations to basically help you to navigate and, To help you get to where you want to go. So you do need to be engaged in the process. That’s the one thing. The second thing is consistency with coaching is key.
So if you’re working with with a coach and your coach will probably tell you this, that the more consistent you are with coaching, especially at the beginning of the process, you’re going to start to build that momentum. You’re going to start to see that those results and you’re going to start to really, you know, move a lot faster towards who you want to be and you know, what you want to, to achieve.
And so I would say that consistency is key, just being open to the coaching process and coachable, and then finding the right fit for, you know, with the coach is incredibly critical as well. I always like to tell my clients, it’s kind of like working with a therapist. So a lot of times, you know, therapy, it’s, it’s more established, right?
So it’s a more established kind of, so when I say that people are like, oh, okay, that makes sense. So like with working with a therapist, you do want to make sure that you find the right fit. Otherwise, it’s very difficult to really open up and be vulnerable and that kind of thing. So with the coach, it’s no different.
You want to find the right fit. You want to make sure that that person is aligned with where you want to go and they’re able to support you. They have the experience supporting people, maybe who are similar to you, who have achieved similar things, that kind of stuff. So finding the right fit, don’t hesitate.
Like if you feel like, okay, I’ve, I’ve engaged with the coach, but I’m not sure if it’s working. Of course, have that conversation with the person that you’re speaking with. But at the same time, never stop looking for the person that’s going to be the right fit because that is really important to the coaching process because it does require a level of openness and vulnerability from your standpoint as a client.
And so you want to make sure that you have a coach that is able to hold that space for you and also help you to navigate. So those would be some of my tips as far as whether to know whether you’re ready for coaching, then also just some tips on how to get the most out of that whole process. It’s great.
Well, sure. So this has been a lot of fun having you on the show today and learning more about you and Leadership Mastery Alliance and what it looks like for an introverted leader to really, you know, make great contributions and be recognized for their work. I think it’s awesome. The work you’re doing.
That being said, what’s next? I mean, what’s next for you? What’s next for Leadership Mastery Alliance? Well, our mission at Leadership Mastery Alliance is basically just to help and support as many introverted servant leaders as we possibly can. And I know we didn’t touch on that piece you know, lots, I’ll, I’ll touch on that right now.
When I talk about introverted servant leaders, these are just people with a heart to be able to serve and help and support their teams. And they’re very people focused leaders. And so that’s our passion is to help people that are just want to, you know, that are so mission driven. They want to help out.
They want to make a difference in the world. And so, really, our goal is to reach as many introverted servant leaders as possible to say, you know what, you are not alone in this. You can absolutely thrive, you can absolutely feel so energized by the work that you’re doing without feeling drained, and there is a place for you in this world, and you have incredible, unique value to be able to, to provide.
In a way that can feel really good to, you know, to those introverted leaders. So, that’s our mission, and that’s, that’s why we do the work that we do every day. And, Esther, how do people follow up? How do they learn more? How do they connect with you and your team? Thank you for asking that. So first of all, if anyone is listening, if you’ve had any questions on anything we’ve talked about.
So please feel free to reach out to me at info that’s I N F O at leadershipmasteryalliance. com. If you want to find out more about the work that we do at Leadership Mastery Alliance, you can go to the website is leadershipmasteryalliance. com. And then also I would love to connect with you on LinkedIn as well.
So if you are on that platform, I share a ton of like free resources and information, all kinds of things on there. There’s also a free training on my website for introverted surrogates. So now feel free to take advantage of all of that. And I would just love to hear from you. So thank you so much.
Thanks for listening today. It’s great. And for everybody listening, just so you know, we’ll put the links in the, in the show notes so you can just click on them and head right on over and and, and check out the website. And speaking of the everybody watching, if this is your first time with mission matters and you haven’t done it yet, hit that subscribe button.
This is a daily show each and every day. We’re bringing you new content, new ideas, and hopefully new inspiration to help you along the way in your journey as well. So again, hit that subscribe or follow button and Charissa, thanks again so much for coming on the show. Oh, it’s been an absolute pleasure.
And thank you so much for the important work that you guys do. And it’s much appreciated. Thank you.