Adam Torres and Rugare Gomo discuss succeeding in life and business.
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Show Notes:
What does it take to break free of expectations, self-doubt and imposter syndrome? In this episode, Adam Torres interviews Rugare Gomo, High-performance Coach and Author, explore what it takes to become the highest version of yourself and his book, Dreams: Forging My Own Path.
About Rugare Gomo
Rugare Gomo is known as a Lawyer, Model, Philanthropist, Business Leader, High Performance Business & Leadership Coach, Keynote Speaker and now an international bestselling author.
In 2001, Rugare came to Australia by himself at 16 years old with one suitcase, a back pack and $300.
His powerful memoir, Dreams: Forging my Own Path, chronicles his journey of overcoming obstacles in his personal life and in business while facing discrimination and racism in society.
His story is not only a personal story of triumph but also a commentary on the broader issues of immigration, LGBTQ+ rights, and the Black experience in the world.
Dreams: Forging my Own Path is more than a memoir. It is a number 1 bestselling book in multiple categories:
🏆 Business Mentoring & Coaching
🏆 Business Diversity & Inclusion
🏆 Black & African American Biographies and Memoirs
🏆 Cultural & Regional Biographies
Despite all his challenges, Rugare shows up in life in love and to be love. Fundamentally, Rugare believes that love is the key to eliminating prejudice and discrimination and restoring the world to it’s natural state.
Full Unedited Transcript
Hey, I’d like to welcome you to another episode of Mission Matters. My name is Adam Torres. And if you’d like to apply to be a guest in the show, just head on over to missionmatters. com and click on, be our guest to apply. All right. So today on the show, I have Rugaray Gomo and he’s joining us from Australia today, where it is the morning we’re recording this afternoon in Los Angeles.
And he’s a high performance coach and author of, and one of his books, Mission Matters. Dreams of forging my own path. We’re going to get into that as well. And another topic, how to make powerful decisions in life and business easily. So what we’re going to have a lot of fun here today. First off, , Regare welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for having me Adam. I’m so excited to be here. All right. So first thing first, how did you get in this business and really on this mission of helping other people with their performance, like where’d that begin for you? I think I was born into it, really. Really, you know, yeah. So if I look at my, mom and my dad, my mom and my dad are social workers.
So I grew up in Zimbabwe. And so my mom and my dad are social workers. And my mom was one of the first women in the country in the early 90s doing HIV AIDS education in a male dominated country. And my dad has always been doing, you know, leadership programs for youth, you know, family counseling, street kid programs.
So you were literally born into it. I was born into it. That’s funny. My, so my mom was she was a social worker for 40 plus years before she retired. And speaking of HIV and HIV training and things like that, like that was when I, she enrolled me in this red cross program. I mean, I must’ve been like, I’m not joking, 13 years old, maybe younger.
And it was to be an HIV peer educator. This is way back when. So these are our timelines, man. I didn’t know I had a brother all the way over there. Like we got stories for days. We have lots. Can you imagine I’m over here, like a pure educator as a little, little guy going to colleges, talking and all this, my mom threw me in the fire.
Just like, I know your mom did bless their heart. That’s crazy. Yeah. So she’s been doing that since I was eight years old. So of course, you’d come back with the books as well. And then the books are horrifying. Yeah. Yeah, so, so where does this go? When do you know that this is gonna be part of your life path?
Like I’m interested to hear that part because you probably are like fighting it or I don’t know like you’re going through I’m over here getting my own social work on with you right now You’re probably fighting it. How did this suck you in, man? So, you know when I was 16 years old, I moved to Australia with, by myself, one bag, backpack and 300 for a better life.
And so in Zimbabwe, the whole idea is the better education you get, the more opportunities. So everybody is climbing that educational ladder. For opportunities, because if you don’t, then you don’t, you become very poor. You can’t look after yourself and your family. And that’s shameful. So growing up in Zimbabwe, the competition is so stiff.
It is, isn’t it? The level of need is high. And so I created an opportunity to come to Australia by asking. Literally a family friend who had been working with the projects my mom and my dad are doing. So it would have people coming from Canada, the United States, Australia, New Zealand to be part of these pro programs in Zimbabwe.
And some of them that loved their time, formed friendships. And I asked because my mom and my dad would never have been able to afford for me to come to Australia. So, yeah. So I’d call that my entrepreneurship journey, really, because of course, when you’re an entrepreneur, you start with a dream and you’ve got to figure it all out.
You don’t have all the lines, you know, lined up, all the stars are not lined up. Yeah. And. When I finished high school here in Australia, then I went to law school. So I had no intention of, you know, being helping people that way. I, my path was becoming a lawyer. Now, why a lawyer? So in Zimbabwe, what I saw when the country was falling apart was the people who had power, the people who got to stand up against the government, the untouchables were the lawyers, the human right lawyers.
So for myself, power equated being a lawyer. And I saw that I could help people being a lawyer. So my idea was becoming a lawyer. And then of course it was, you go through law school and law schools are dominated by the big law firms. The, mindset starts changing, you know, the law firms say, come and work for us.
You know, come and work for us. And if you want to do something afterwards and do good, do that afterwards, get, come and get the experience in our law firm. So that’s what I did. I went and worked in a law firm. And it was brilliant being a lawyer and working in a law firm is brilliant because you’re trained how to.
think critically and solve any problem. That’s what it is to be a lawyer. Practically being a lawyer is how to think and take a side on anything. Who can come up with the best story or the best argument to influence society and the world. That’s practically what it is to be a lawyer. So I practiced law for a couple of years and I was so depressed.
I was so depressed. I was not my full self, but you know, these concepts that we have today of live your full life, bring your full self to work. Those did not exist during my time. During my time. is you get a career and you work bloody hard and you create a cushy life for yourself. So you, and, and the strong ones, you know, keep climbing the corporate ladder.
The weak ones fall out. That’s how it was for me during my time. I have some amazing mentors who were like, don’t stay in the law too long. Don’t be like me. I’ve got the big mortgage, you know, I’ve got the children, I’ve got the international travel I’ve got to do with my wife. Yeah. And now I’ve got all these bills and I feel stuck.
So to get the experience and get out, and so that’s what I did. I got experience and got out, but it was very difficult to decide what to do. Now corporate Australia is very conservative. So I’m being an entrepreneur in Australia is hard work. And so I think outside the box after all my entire life, I’ve been thinking outside the box.
So, you know I left the law and I decided I wanted to be a decision maker in corporate. But there was a problem. for lots of big corporate in Australia. I didn’t have an MBA. And I didn’t have what we call, you know, the real experience in corporate. I’m a lawyer, but not necessarily, you know, I didn’t go and do an accounting or commerce degree.
So, but I knew I could turn mud into gold. That’s what I’ve done my entire life. And so for an entire year, I worked the system. I worked and worked and doors were closed to me and, but during that time as well, this is why I always believe in living what I now call your soul, your full self.
During that period of time, I was on the board of the African Australian business council. So promote promoting trade between Australia and African countries. You know, meeting ambassadors, Australian ambassadors, African ambassadors, and creating pathways for trade. I’ve been volunteering with the asylum seeker resource center.
And I’ve, I was just fully engaged in community. Mm. As well. Can you see again what I was doing from where I grew up fully engaged in community, so as I am in my corporate career mm-hmm . I’ve never let go of being part of community. Mm-hmm . And what my biggest lesson in life is, my opportunities are always amongst my community.
Mm. And because I had been making a difference in these communities. Yeah. A person in corporate. which just started a new company had been literally headhunted me and had been dying to meet me for over four months. And I had no idea because our paths kept we kept missing each other. Yeah. And he offered me a job to work with him and it was extraordinary because it was this educational company.
And what we were doing was interviewing global leaders. Presidents, prime ministers, CEOs of a fortune 500 companies, Nobel prize winners for leadership and management courses and to create them into accredited courses throughout the world. And I had joined the organization as the director of corporate affairs and general counsel, but this is what I say to the founder of the organization.
I said, I won’t work for you unless I come to every single meeting and I’ll take. I will create your business because I wanted to learn how to be an entrepreneur because there’s a different mindset of being a lawyer where you’re providing a service to a client to being the decision maker. Yeah. And I wanted to learn how to be a decision maker of an organization.
So he said, yes, that opened up a whole new world. Dang, do you want to learn about media too? You can come over here and start working. The only catch is you got to do everything. No, I’m just kidding. Everything. Everything. And most people don’t upsell you like that on their job description. The only catch is I want to do everything outside of my role too.
How about that? Go ahead. That’s what I wanted to do. It’s like I learn on somebody else’s time. Yeah, of course. Completely. So that’s what I did. And of course, you know, that led to me growing a startup to be a multinational organization with offices in the United States, the UK, Canada, Mauritius, and I learned to be an astute negotiator without having to even leave Australia.
you know, get deals done. And so that was, that was wild. That was absolutely wild to experience to do. And then during that journey, I was like, you know I was, believe it or not, the first black gay African Australian at the law firm I went to. So in Australia, the percentage of the African diaspora is like 0.
6%. So I was already, people were seeing me as a trailblazer because the African migration to Australia is relatively new. Yeah. You know, it’s just like the late nineties, the early two thousands in essence. So practically everything I was doing, I had to learn and educate people. Yeah.
There’s different culture, different ways of operating different, everything in essence. So it’s all related to me as a wild card. Yeah, for sure. They didn’t know a box to put you in really. Exactly. You think about it. Yeah. So they, they kept putting me in boxes and I had to keep tell, taking myself out of the box Yeah.
And really educating people of who I really am . Mm. And that takes work. That took authenticity. That took vulnerability because every time you put yourself out there, you’re also of course putting yourself out there. And people may not accept you the way you are. That’s true. And. And at that time I didn’t have the skills or know that I didn’t need to take things personally.
So of course, if somebody said no to me, it was a personal no, like there’s something wrong with me personally. Not, I had no idea that most of these things had nothing to do with me. That’s interesting how the culture side, like, can play of an effect and just even the way they talk. I interviewed a really successful entrepreneur from the Ukraine his name is Victor.
And he told me when he first came to the United States, he did all these meetings, hundreds of meetings or something like that. He didn’t know that when somebody said they’ll get back to them, to him, that, That doesn’t actually mean they’re going to get back to him. He didn’t know he, he learned the word perseverance after when someone, somebody, he just didn’t understand the words, like the words.
He’s like, he’s like, I thought these meetings were going great. And somebody was going to get back to me. I didn’t know I had to follow up with them. And I’m just like, in my head, I’m laughing, but. Then he was like, so how’d that make you feel? And he’s like, you know what? It was the best day of my life when I realized it because then I knew all I had to do was follow up with them.
And from that moment on, my business grew every single week because I just kept on them and I could persevere and follow up with them until they told me not to, or and then still follow up some more. He said that I started making a bunch of money. I just didn’t know. I thought they were actually going to get back to me.
That’s the language thing. So culture is interesting. , it’s interesting culture. Absolutely. And that’s why for me, it’s important to always be part of community because being part of community, then that’s how I started learning the nuances of, you know, how to thrive. In a culture, you know, I think sometimes it’s very easy to demonize people, demonize cultures backwards or the progressive, but it takes time.
Yeah. Don’t think it’s good or bad. I think it’s the culture is the culture. We’ve got to figure it out and learn it. Yeah. And we can thrive. We can thrive in any culture for sure. I want to spend some time here on your book. So dreams, forging my own path, like talk to me about that.
That came out September, 2024, , brand new book. Like talk to me about that. Yes. So James, what’s your, my own path is my journey of creating and, and pioneering my life here in Australia and, and overcoming the Numerous obstacles, you know, so for me, you know, after working for that educational company, I started my own business and within two years, I was close to being bankrupt because just like your Ukrainian friend, I thought that being the right hand person of the founder made me an entrepreneur.
And I discovered then when I’m 110 percent responsible for everything. Mm. I discovered that I felt like an imposter. Mm-hmm . Because that’s when, you know I really discovered who I needed to be. Mm-hmm . So I, it’s so easy, as you said, to work for somebody else and you know, you can be the CI two or the CEO mm-hmm
But if, but if you are 110% responsible for everything, money accounts, you know, legal issues. Yeah. It tests every facet of, you know, my identity. And so I fell apart because I learned that I had low self esteem. I was hiding behind somebody else’s power. I learned that I still had beliefs that white is better than black.
I felt awkward in a predominantly heterosexual world because I’m a gay man. So those things were in my way. My own thinking about myself and my ideas that I had acquired about myself was in the way. So dreams forging my own path. is me sharing the stories of how I overcame lots of obstacles. Some of them, of course, they’re institutional, but really most obstacles are in our head.
So that’s what a dream switching my own path is about. Now, why did I write it now? Believe it. I’m the first gay, black African Australian to write a memoir in the world. Oh, wow. That’s crazy. Yeah. Another way said is when you think about books and literature, or even the world, a lot of it is Eurocentric.
So stories like mine are not heard yet. Most of the world are actually migrants. There’s so many migrants, but then the opportunity to even share one’s story is so limited at a large scale, because we’re working our asses off, you know, to take care of ourselves, to take care of our families. So my book, I wrote the book as a gift to the world of You Are Not Alone, Voices of And experiences like mine exist, you know, and it’s very different to read it from an African American experience or you know, a black British experience.
I’m not American. I’m not British. I’m Zimbabwean and our stories are not told. The Arab stories are not told. The Nigerian stories are not told yet. You know, we are a huge group of people out there, so I think I’m hoping that my book, you know, inspires hope and also action for people to reclaim their life.
That’s exciting. How, what kind of response have you gotten from this? Like, being a first is sometimes a trailblazer, like, that is different. Like, what kind of response have you gotten? It’s been extraordinary. You know, the book has, as you said, has come out on the 3rd of September. Mm-hmm . 2024. I’ve already sold over 10,000 copies of the United States alone.
Absolutely amazing, by the way. You know, that’s amazing. That’s, that’s amazing. Mm-hmm . You know, but then being invited to you united organizations like C-Suite in America to be part of, you know, the leaders of business there as well. that’s opening doors, but as it opens doors for me, it’s also opening doors for people like me everywhere.
Yeah. So it’s, it’s been. extraordinary. But the thing that I’m most proud of, you know, that’s great for the business, but I think what I’m proud of is more about how it makes people feel and people who have, or are in desperate situations. So as you know, in the world being gay, Most countries still criminalize people who are gay and in some countries you can be killed.
So I’ve been receiving messages from people in Northern Nigeria, Nigeria, where there’s the Boko Haram, the Islamic state, where they’re like, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m a gay person. I can’t come out. I want help. Please help. My most recent one was from Senegal. You know, I’m walking down the street.
People are pointing down at pointing at me. They know I’m gay. How can you help me get out? So that these stories are already, my story is already having people know that. They’re not alone, that they are black gay people. Because of course, if you’re black and African, you don’t come out. It’s dangerous for you.
It’s dangerous. It’s dangerous for your community. It’s dangerous for my family. Yeah. You know, it’s shameful and dangerous. And sorrow and what I’m seeing is that it’s now creating spaces for people to have even a small, tiny space to be able to even voice who they are. And that’s enough. Amazing.
That for me is the greatest privilege. Rugari, this has been such a great conversation. And I’m happy to get the message out about your story. Of course, your business and what you’re doing. I know you got so much more to share. People want to connect or to learn more and to pick up a copy of your book.
Of course. How do they do that? So my book is available globally. I made sure of it. So you can find it on Amazon, Barnes and Nobles, Target USA. It’s available everywhere. ECOBO. I also did my own audio book. So for those who love to listen, I narrated it myself. It’s available there. How you can contact me.
I’ve got my website, www. rogaregomo. com. And I am prolific on LinkedIn. Love LinkedIn. Great community. Great spaces. You’ll find me there, but you’ll find me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook as well. Fantastic. If everybody listening, just so you know, we’ll, definitely put the links in the show notes so that you can just click on them and head right on over.
And speaking of the audience, if this is your first time with mission matters and you haven’t done it yet, hit that subscribe or follow button. This is a daily show each and every day. We’re bringing you new content, new ideas, and hopefully new inspiration to help you along the way in your journey as well.
So again, hit that subscribe or follow button and Rugari. Thanks again for coming on the show. Thank you, Adam, for having me. I appreciate.